Enduring Love
by nicole1536
Summary: Zuko and Katara both marry who they are supposed to and make the bet of their situations, but they never foget the one they truly love. Zutara and Tokka
1. Chapter 1: Life Now

"It's a boy," the women knelt before her handed her a blanket with a small bundle tucked in nice and snug. She took him in her arms looking at each feature searching for the answer to a question she had only asked twice before. It didn't take long to find it. He breathed in and out in her arms and she knew. He was an Airbender.

"Can I hold him?" Her husband loomed in the doorway robes swaying in the breeze. His face was uncertain. Just like her he wished to know the answer.

"Of course," she exhaled. "He is your son."

She lightly handed over the warm swaddle. She felt her heart constrict. Never had she considered what she would do in this moment. Slowly the child awoke in his father's arm. Drowsy and hungry he let out his first squall and a smile erupted on the face of the airbender that held him.

"What do you suppose we should name him?"

"I think we should go with the name you wanted."

His eyebrows raised in surprise. Her answer had been unexpected. She had not attended to his opinion at the birth of the last two children. He hadn't been particularly persistent this time when dreaming up names, he had expected her to override him once more. He looked gently down at his son lending himself to optimism for the first time in a very long while.

"Welcome to the world, Tenzin."

* * *

It took no time for Tenzin to become the focus of Aang's world. Katara was both relieved and saddened. She loved Tenzin but every time she looked at him his cheerful face reminded her of a time when her life was happier. Having Aang be so interested in him allowed her to escape her reality and not fall apart. Of course having Aang so interested in his newborn son made him rather absentee in her other children's lives. She often put her daughter, Kya, in bed and picked a book up to read only to hear, "Why can't daddy read me a story?" The look in her eyes made Katara feel guilty. She would have to insist every night that, "Daddy is busy. Maybe he can read to you another night." Bumi had noticed too. More often than not he called his little brother "The Favorite" rather than by his own name. At seven he was becoming a handful and with Aang distracted Bumi seemed to get in more trouble each wasn't that Tenzin was constantly with Aang. Aang busied himself with plans for the future of the Earth Nomads when he wasn't with his son.

"Don't you want to spend some time with the children," she had asked more than once. He never showed any sign of remorse when he declined. She couldn't be mad, as much as she wanted to, Katara was no hypocrite. She bit back her words and instead tried to make up for Aang's absence. Often she would take the children, sometimes Tenzin in a sling around her body, across to the quickly growing Republic City. They shopped, walked around, and watched the city being built. Occasionally she would take them to the park where they would watch benders spar and practice. Even though Bumi didn't have bending abilities he loved to watch others. That was until Kya waterbended at him while playing in the fountains. After that Bumi lost interest in watching the benders. Katara gleefully celebrated Kya and her new talent, but she also hurt for Bumi. Instead of being jealous like many non-bender kids she sensed that he felt as though he had somehow failed. One day she decided to ask Sokka for advice.

"Katara I'm not really an expert on kids," he joked.

"No you aren't," she replied stoutly. "I haven't forgotten how you let Bumi hunt with you the last time we vacationed together."

"Hey a guy's gotta learn how to hunt sometime."

"Sokka, he was five," she yelled. "Nevermind. You can help him. He needs to realize that being a non-bender isn't so bad."

He leaned against his desk and put on his pensive face. She already knew he would say yes, she just needed to give him a moment to himself. Unlike her, Sokka had no children. Despite marrying years before her and trying to start a family, he and Suki hadn't conceived any children, and they never would.

* * *

Seven years ago when she was pregnant with Bumi, Suki finally gathered the courage to ask Katara for her help. What she asked only a healer could do. So Katara took out her healing water and placed it over Suki's abdomen. As she felt for a problem she could see how worried Suki was.

"Have you been trying?" she asked tentatively.

"What. Oh. Yes, we've been trying."

"So, Sokka knows?" she asked out of pure concern for her brother. The brother that had attempted to train small boys in the village how to be warriors. Her goofy brother who could make anyone smile.

"Yes." Tears welled in her eyes as she spoke. "Sokka suggested we try in the first place. I've always wanted kids, but Sokka was ready years ago. I just don't want to let him down."

Suki collapsed on Katara sobbing into her shoulder. It hit Katara then just how much her brother must be hurting as well. Patting Suki on the back Katara backed away. Taking Suki's hands in hers she spoke gently comforting her sister in law.

"Suki. Nothing is wrong with you."

"Really," she gasped. Her face wet with tears brightened, but then faltered. "Why can't I get pregnant then?"

Katara chose her words carefully trying to keep Suki calm. It wouldn't help to speculate too much. In fact it might hurt worse than finding out she was unable to conceive.

"I don't know. As far as my abilities go I can tell that nothing is wrong physically with you. It could be a number of things, there is no way to be certain. Try not to worry, it won't make things easier for you while you try or if there really is no way you and Sokka can have children."

Her eyes dilated as she listened to the advice when she asked solemnly, "Could something be wrong with Sokka?"

Daggers pierced her heart. As she examined Suki the possibility went through her mind. Hearing the words forced her to consider it seriously, something she dreaded. It was completely possible, and if it was indeed Sokka what it might do to him scared her.

"Suki, it could be Sokka, but it could also be that it just isn't your time yet."

"Is there any way to know for sure?"

"If Sokka goes to a healer you might be able to find out, but I don't think that you will ever be sure."

Suki looked at her a little puzzled. "You won't examine him. You are his sister."

"No. The procedure to examine a women is more general but for a man it's a bit more delicate. I think Sokka would rather someone who was male and not his sister do the examination, if that's what he wants."

Suki blushed and looked away as she pulled her shirt back over her stomach. Meanwhile, Katara assembled some herbs for Suki to take to aide in the conception of a child. The went about their business in silence, the subject of babies and Katara's current state making things a bit awkward between them at the moment. Katara hoped it wouldn't be long for her sister in law and brother things hadn't been as usual since she had been pregnant and she missed the old days when they were a close family and visited each other at every possible opportunity.

"Do you plan to go to the fire nation for the anniversary of the end of the war celebration?"

Katara stopped grinding herbs in her mortar and took a calming breath before answering. "No , I would, but the baby is due so close to the date that Aang doesn't want to risk it. I don't either, but you know, for different reasons."

"Yeah, he wants it born on Air Temple Island, right? I know he feels uneasy about you having it in the Fire Nation, but really we are all going to be there. Even he has to be there being Avatar and all that what if you have the baby while he's away?"

Katara had already had this fight with Aang she didn't feel like explaining to Suki the complicated reasons behind Aang's stubbornness even though everyone in their immediate social circle already knew to some extent the struggles of her marriage. So she put the supplements in a pouch and handed them to Suki.

"I don't really feel like talking about it Suki. I'm tired I think I'm just going to go to bed, okay"

Suki quieted and softened, "Okay Katara, sorry. I love you"

"Love you too, Suki. Goodnight." Katara exited Suki's room and walked outside heading to the guest house on Kyoshi all the while tears flowing down her cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2: If only

These stories are going to be a bit irregular, but I am going to try for once a week. I would love to get some feedback and if you see any typos or editing that needs to be done don't be afraid to comment.

Chapter Two:

Katara waved at her brother and son as they sailed away on a small boat with a small crew of only fifteen off to the South Pole for the Summer Solstice Festival. She and the rest of her family would be traveling separately, she was simply giving Bumi time to learn from his uncle who had long ago come to terms with having no bending.

"Mommy, where is Bumi going?"

Katara looked down at her sweet daughter who was still sucking her thumb at four despite being nearly as articulate as her eight year old brother.

"I told you sweetie. He is going with Uncle Sokka to the South Pole. We will see him in three weeks when we go to visit for the festival. We'll also see Great Gran-Gran, Pop-pop, and Granda. Everyone will be together and we will see the pretty lights, like last year do you remember?"

Kya shook her head and ran in the opposite direction of the pier toward the temple. Katara looked at her fleeting chubby figure. When she was born she looked so much like a Water Bender, now her features were sharpening and she was looking less and less like her namesake and more like the other half of her , at least, she held onto the Southern Water Tribe skin tone. Hopefully Kya would age like her brother and look mostly like her Water Tribe half and only enough like her father to pick up some of the subtleties.

"Mommy, hurry up I want to practice bending," Kya yelled from dry land bringing the ocean to her hands.

Not wanting to deny an eager student Katara raced after her daughter gathering some water of her own as she did.

* * *

Aang didn't always join them for dinner but for some reason tonight he did. They were ready to sit down to miso soup,vegetable dumplings, and a mixed salad (Airbender food) when he slid the door to the dining room open.

Kya saw him and ran over "Daddy!"

"Hi there Kya, darling." He spun her around in his arms with extra gusto the way she liked making her smile and laugh. Sometimes when he wasn't so busy or avoiding them he could be a good dad. He knew what they each liked and treated them with respect but also had fun with them the way a parent should.

"Okay I think that's enough," Katara said when Kya started hiccuping.

Aang and Kya went to their seats and they all sat down. They all said a silent prayer and started eating. They sat in silence for a few minutes not exchanging glances until their kitchen maid,Lori, came in and served them hibiscus tea. At which time Aang must have thought it best to seem amicable in front of Lori.

"Did Bumi and Sokka take off okay?" Aang asked making light conversation. Katara stopped chopsticks midair. The question innocent enough rubbed her the wrong way. Aang had known Bumi was leaving that morning, but didn't come to see him off, an action that left undone made his son seem sad when the ship finally pushed off from the dock. She looked down at Kya happily munching on carrot sticks and humming some tune under her breath. If Katara wanted to be mad at Aang the place was not in front of her drew her composure and set her chopsticks down.

"Yes,"she responded cheerfully. "He was a bit disappointed that you weren't there to say goodbye, but I think he and Sokka will have a good trip."

"That's nice to hear I had to be at a council meeting with Sokka being gone for such an extended period of time some of the plans for Republic City's downtown district have been pushed back a week or two. I really wish you two had given a bit more notice about this trip."

Another irritating comment and suddenly Katara wasn't hungry anymore. She looked at her daughter again reminding herself to stay calm. Family first.

"I'm sorry I just thought with a new sibling and Kya getting her bending Bumi could use a bit more attention than either you or I could give. Sokka was kind enough to agree to help Bumi come to terms with being a non-bender. You know out of everyone we've ever known I have never known Sokka to ever express wanting to have any kind of bending."

A gasp erupted from her left below her elbow.

"Uncle Sokka doesn't want to be a bender!" Mouth agape with unchewed dumpling Kya's face was plastered in shock. Not surprising from the moment she understood what bending was and saw the way Katara and Aang moved the elements around Kya tried nearly everyday to produce some form of water or air bending. Of course they had told her she wasn't an airbender, but she had tried and tried nonetheless out of pure will for the skill. She was fascinated with bending much like her brother had been.

"Now that you mention it Katara I don't think I have ever heard Sokka mention wanting to be a bender. He has always been proud of his swordsmanship skills and that boomarang of his. I hope he isn't going to teach Bumi any of that he is still a bit young to be learning how to handle weapons even though Sokka has tried before."

Kya and Katara laughed. Kya was too young to remember when it happened but her brother sported a scar on his lower shin and she never gave up an opportunity to tell the story of how her brother tried to teach his nephew to throw a boomerang at five and ended up getting it back in a big way. It had hurt at the time, but a week later Sokka was laughing at his own idiocy and didn't blame Bumi a bit. Kya had thus heard the story many times and found it hilarious and being so small when Sokka had his shin exposed she would run her hand over the scar and pat him like a sad puppy feeling sorry for poor idiotic Uncle Sokka.

"No I forbid him from teaching Bumi anything with weapons, plus I don't think he is eager to repeat past mistakes. Although I didn't expressly say no hand to hand combat so we might have a fighter on our hands when we get to the South Pole."

"That's good Toph is already teaching Lin and she is two years younger," Aang said with an approving smirk that pulled into a concerned stare in an instant. "Although, she is being a bit hard on the girl maybe you should get together with them. I don't think the girl gets outside of the precinct much and even though they are going with us to the festival we don't leave for another week."

"That's a good idea. Kya is coming along well with her bending and could maybe do with a good switch in routine. What do you think sweetheart?" She asked knowing Lin was a bit abrasive compared to Kya's sweet personality. Kya sipped on her tea and shrugged at her mother.

"I guess you have a date with the Chief then," Aang smiled at Katara.

* * *

Later that night as she was nursing Tenzin in her bedroom there came a knock at the door.

"Who is it?"

"Aang, can I come in?"

"Yes, just be discrete Tenzin is having dinner," she whispered not wanting to disturb her youngest son, who had an aura about he that always seemed calm on the brink of breaking.

Aang slid the door closed quickly and silently and came over to peer at his son. They looked so similar and had such similar personalities. Even at dinner tonight when Katara had been mad at Aang he had made her laugh minutes later. Tenzin seemed to have that in him too. At moments he would refuse to sleep not crying or fussing just refusing to lay still and dream. It would frustrate Katara so, but then sensing her irritation Tenzin would giggle and blow bubbles of air at her causing her to giggle back.

For years Aang had frustrated Katara and she had wanted to leave and had come close several times, but then he would do something that would remind her of why she had stayed for so long and why she would remain. She didn't do it only for her children who needed stability, a home, a family, a father. She did it for herself in a way too. To give up now what she had held up for so long would be destroying her world her sanity for moments if only seconds of relief. In the end Aang was not a terrible husband or father he was insensitive at times but not cruel. She had a right to expect better, but she could have also received worse, she had certainly seen friends of hers settle for worse.

"He is so peaceful just being with him is restful."

"You obviously need to try to put him to sleep more often," Katara scoffed. She looked down at her son though, his sweet face so soft and eyes so bright and innocent. No, she understood what Aang meant if only in moment like these. "He is pretty great though," she cooed softly partly to Aang, but mostly to perfect little Tenzin.

"It makes you think"

"Oh about what?"

Aang leaned against the wall sizing up Katara and her expression. Katara saw this and became a bit panicked she knew what he was about to suggest. Oh, no, she didn't want to have this conversation not again. Not after diner had turned out to not be such a disaster. She couldn't handle it.

"I think we should have another child."

"No," Katara breathed almost inaudibly, but Aang heard her and scowled back. She took the opportunity of Tenzin finishing diner to turn her back on Aang and settle Tenzin into his bassinet. She wanted to break down and scream, but Aang had chosen the perfect moment to corner her.

"You won't even think about it, it's just, no?"

"Exactly, just like it was ten months ago when I told you I was pregnant. I told you one more child."

"And you think that's fair. One airbending child. Ho-"

Katara didn't give him time to ask the questions she had heard a million times over she did the right thing and slapped him. Tears welled in her eyes. Suddenly, she regretted any credit she had been giving him only minutes earlier. _Fair he was going to bring up fair._

"You're lucky to have a single child that can be called an airbender. You're also lucky to have two other amazing children who may not be what you wanted or expected from the world, but life isn't fair Aang. Didn't we learn that years ago. I did. I gave up my life for you and this family. So don't you dare talk to me about fair."

At this point she had raised her voice loud enough to wake Tenzin and he was crying. She was sorry for that but not at all for the things she had said. She left the room and Aang with the crying baby needing to find a place where she could breathe. Right now she was gasping and sobbing, not loudly, but all consuming in a silent drowning type way. Down the halls she sped looking for double doors to the lily pond.

"Agni," she gasped in the crisp night air pushing onto the porch and the stone pathway leading to the ponds. She stumbled down the path toward the water trying to calm herself by wrapping her shawl tightly around her and taking soothing breaths.

As she approached the water she thought of all of the decisions that had lead her here. If only she had been allowed to be something other than "The Avatar's Girl" maybe she would have been able to choose a path of love and happiness.

"Oh if only," she sighed looking up at the full moon.


	3. Chapter 3: Reassurance

Flashback to right after the battle between Zuko and Azula. The point of view is not only Katara's but I will label each work that isn't in succession to the first and second chapter as a flashback.

* * *

All they could do was wait now. Aang would succeed. Right.

"We should find some help. We can't just leave her there."

Zuko pulled her from her worrying. They did need to do something about the sobbing girl who intermittently spit flames at them. As to what she didn't know. They also needed to get Zuko somewhere safe so he could rest, getting struck by lightning couldn't be pleasant.

"Uncle told me the name of a White Lotus member, named Gou Kahn, within the high council we should try to find him and ask for help before we do anything else," he looked at her earnestly trying to bring her to the present situation.

She sighed there was nothing she could do for the others right now, the best course of action was to deal with things here and make it safe for Aang and the others to find them here.

"How do we find him?"

"All of the Lords on the council live outside the palace in the vicinity. I know where some of them live, but not him. If I could sneak out and look around the estate houses inconspicuously it might be accomplishable, but we can't just leave her. I hate to ask but-"

"I'll stay you go," Katara assured him in the strongest voice she could muster. She didn't want to be left alone with Azula, but couldn't see a way around their situation.

"Are you sure?" he asked his face full of concern.

"Yes. It is the only thing we can do."

"I will be as quick as possible. If for an instant you think she might escape don't hesitate to act. You can take her in the state she is in now if you just keep alert."

"Got it," her voice quivered a bit.

He looked at her hard, but assuringly and took her hands firmly in his.

"Everything is going to be okay. We just have to get this done and secure the palace so the others have a place to meet us."

She felt the warmth of his hands and saw the force of his belief in his eyes. She decided to hold onto that. If Zuko was strong enough to carry on with all that had happened minutes before, she could pull herself together.

"Okay just hurry the fighting has stopped and people might start to get curious and I can't really hide Azula."

He glanced back at his weeping sister and a sadness passed over his face and then immediately disappeared as he looked back at Katara staring right into her eyes. He gave her hands a reassuring squeeze and disappeared into the smoke and haze.

* * *

He hated leaving Katara alone in what was still enemy territory, but necessity didn't allow him much time to think on it. After slipping in and out of the shadows for long enough to get close to the palace gates he heard voices. Most likely they were guards. He flexed his right arm and bite down on his lip. The pain was horrible. Normally he would be able to take on four combatants, but right now he doubted he would be able to get through two alive. He readied himself willing his strength to come back to him, when-

"Hey what's going on?"

"You-"

"Huh"

The sound of yelling and fighting reached his ears. He peaked around the corner and saw fire nation guards fighting men in white robes. The White Lotus.

He looked around the ensuing chaos other guards had appeared and were taking on the dozen White Lotus members that had come through the gates and were now surging forward. He watched for a few more seconds, mind in as much of a haze as the atmosphere. What should he do? He wouldn't be much help in the fight and either side might mistake him for an enemy. A guard flew into the wall adjacent to him and somehow broke into his consciousness. Suddenly he knew what to do.

"Stop!" He ran into the fray. No one took much notice of him except a man with a Pai Sho tile hanging on a thread around his neck, white lotus clearly displayed. The man disarmed his opponent and cleared a circle around him in a flash of flame.

He stood tall and shouted.

"Surrender to your Fire Lord all of you now!"

The fighting ceased almost instantly as everyone followed the man's gaze to Zuko.

"What has happened to Fire Lady Azula?" a guard questioned.

Zuko blinked realizing the situation was now in his hands. He looked to the man with the Pai Sho piece, who nodded at him.

Zuko stepped forward and spoke, "My sister has fallen in an Agni Kai. I am here to claim my right to the title Firelord."

Gasp and shock spread throughout the mass of guards. All of them looked toward the palace as if they could see Azula's body i the mass of buildings and smoke.

"What about Phoenix King Ozai?" another guard asked, and the guards around him placed their weapons firmly on their weapons.

"Avatar Aang is battling him and either ha succeeded or will succeed. Surrender now and no further action will be taken against you. If you choose to-"

"Aaaah!"

A guard had taken the opportunity to rush him and Zuko swerved by him missing being cut by a large margin. He rounded on the man and threw an arc of fire at his feet destabilizing him. The guard fell and a White Lotus member moved forward to secure him.

"As I was saying if you choose to fight back you will be defeated and imprisoned until I or the Avatar can attend you."

He barely got the words out of his mouth when all of a sudden fighting resumed. A small number of the original guard were standing around looking dumbfounded. The others had either come at him or had chosen a White Lotus member to focus on.

He veered as two flames rushed at his head he caught himself on his right arm hissing out in pain. The man that had yelled for surrender had come to his side though and made up for his blunder. He stood up and back to back they began to deal with the five guards that were currently facing them.

Through the fighting and pain he had the bright idea to ask, "Who are you?"

"Gou Kahn. We have been expecting you Lord Zuko."

The statement shocked him. Not the actual words but the reverence Gou seemed to feel when he spoke. It caught him unexpected and he felt the heat of an attack close to his flesh. Barely managing to avoid disaster he looked back up and threw flames at the oncoming guard.

The skirmish seemed to last for days but probably only took ten minutes. At the end most of the guards had surrendered and those who hadn't were being restrained. He felt drained, but good otherwise.

Gou spoke, "We will hold the resistors here on the premise until we can come to a better arrangement. I have sent word to the other council members about what has happened and advised those who stand with you to come immediately and those who don't to vacate the city."

"How seriously will they take it?"

"Oh, very. Your return has been whispered about and though not accepted by many it will be believed that you are here and have taken your rightful place."

Speaking of rightful place he remembered Azula. He beckoned two White Lotus members over and explained the situation as they hurried to the foot of the palace stairways. Hopefully all was well.

"Provisions will be made immediately. Azula may not be fit for ruling, but she is part of the royal family," Gou assured as they came into site of the wreckage and a blue clad waterbender.

Zuko ran to her and they embraced tightly finally giving way to the shock of it all. He could feel the tears running down her face into his scarcely clothed shoulder. He straightened to support her, but buried his face in her hair to hide the few tears that leaked from his eyes as well. The relief washed over them as they heard orders being given and chains rattling. They both looked over to where Azula was. She had ceased to loudly weep and was now silently crying. She lay on the ground immobile as the robed men worked around her. She looked as helpless as a doll.

Zuko made a movement toward her. Katara clutched his sleeve stopping him.

"No. What can you possibly want to do or say to her?"

Zuko sighed, "I'm glad we defeated her but look at her she is a wreck. And while most of me might be glad she is still my little sister I can't just leave her like that with nothing."

Katara let go of his arm and he walked forward unsure of what to do or say. She stayed entirely still even when he was inches from her face. He put a cautious hand to her hair brushing it from her face. When she made no move at him he bent down all the way looking at her avoiding stare.

"It's going to be okay Azula."

"Zu zu?"

"Yeah? I'm here Azula."

"Ha, hahahaha"

Azula began to laugh maniacally. Startled Zuko backed up and almost fell, Katara was there, though, and caught him. She put her hand on his shoulder trying to steady him, but he felt his head swimming.

Gou approached them from behind and guided them to the stairs that led up toward the palace

"The council has received the notice. Those who have stayed are coming to convene in half an hour."

"Good. I'll be there."

"It really isn't necessary."

"I still want to be there."

Katara and Gou both looked at him worriedly, though he couldn't think why at the moment. Gou took his leave and it was just him and Katara.

"Zuko you don't look well you need to rest."

"I'm fine we have to stay alert and wait for Aang. We'll wait together."

They sat together in silence for some time watching things go on around them. Katara tried to heal him at one point, but it caused an odd sort of residual electricity in him that was painful and distracting. She was kind she could have asked about Azula or what he meant to do, but allowed him the peace of mind to think about it by himself. As the half hour neared its end he started to worry about Aang and the others. Katara seemed to feel the same way.

"Where do you think they are?" she asked.

"I don't know. Somewhere off of Earthnation mainland."

"Do you think they're okay?"

He didn't really want to answer an hour ago he had felt sure of the outcome now with the time seeming to wear on it didn't look so optimistic. It was worse for her though. She had a brother in the fight and had known Toph and Suki longer than he had. Then there was Aang he had the feeling there was something between the two of them and for some reason that bothered him, but so far he had managed to not let it show. It was only a week or two ago that Katara finally stopped being so angry at him. He needed to reassure her though so he did in the only way he knew possible.

"I'm not going to lie, I don't know. We will be though no matter what I promise."

"How? If something happened to them how will we survive?"

"We'll have to. We won't have a choice. I certainly wouldn't. I couldn't die here knowing the world was going to fall to chaos and I didn't try everything possible to save it."

She looked at him a bit wide eyed, but said nothing. They passed some more time in silence. Zuko began to feel sleepy and so he he wrapped his good arm around his knees and layed his head on them. His side twitch a bit and ached in a varied sort of way. He listened to the goings on around him the palace was undergoing changes and people were bustling around. Several people came over to offer Katara a room or place to go but she just shooed them away saying they would wait. A few more minutes passed and Zuko was about to get up and go to the council meeting when Katara gasped. He looked up and saw to his amazement a warship badly metal bent landing in the courtyard in front of them. Katara yanked him up on his feet. His head rushed and side split.

"They're okay," she squealed in excitement.

She hugged him tightly and then let go suddenly to look back at the landing ship. The last thing he saw before the black was her face full of relief and joy.


	4. Chapter 4: Choices

Chapter Four

I hope my writing is improving and people are enjoying the story. Reviews and feedback would be great if you have time.

This chapter is going back to the adult Katara perspective. Soon we might get a second adult perspective and a flashback perspective from Katara. I hope the format isn't confusing I will try to label accordingly to minimize confusion.

* * *

"So Twinkle Toes asked for another kid."

They were outside Republic City precinct having tea while Lin and Kya played some kind of balancing game around the fountain. Tenzin was sound asleep nestled close to Katara, a fresh reminder of the fight she had had with Aang the night before. She had regaled Toph of the entire event and was awaiting her criticism or advice, whichever she felt in the mood for today.

"You said no right," Toph stared her down her eyes uncannily reaching Katara's. "He can't expect you to say yes a third time. Wasn't it enough that you married him."

Katara scoffed, "I might be mad at him, but isn't that a bit harsh?"

"Sweetness no one says it enough. You basically had your life stolen from you. Aang might not be all to blame, but he didn't have to go along with it and neither did you for that matter."

Toph was right. Maybe not about having her life stolen from her. She had a life, a different one than she had envisioned for herself, but one she liked most of the time. Her marriage though, that had been less of her idea and more of a pressure put on her by the world and….Aang.

"We're not so good at saying no," Katara sighed looking at the girls.

Toph threw her hands in the air and crossed her legs. She whipped her head around to Lin and Kya who had taken to splashing deputies coming in and out of the station. They saw her steely eyes and stopped, picking up their dolls Katara had brought for them.

Lin was all smiles, a rather rare sight. The little girl was usually so composed like her mother something Katara felt she picked up by proximity rather than by nature. Katara supposed the added lightness of Toph's offspring must come from her father, not that Katara could be sure. Toph had been very secretive about who exactly fathered her child letting Katara in on only the details of the experience and a few about what the father was like, otherwise she had kept silent on the matter.

"Speak for yourself I say no all the time, like to your invitation to stay with you when we get to the South Pole, by the way."

Katara laughed, "Really that's what you're saying no to. Why?"

"I am going to be on a ship with you and Twinkle Toes for two weeks I can skip playing house when we get there. Anyways Sokka said he would let us stay with him."

Katara figured this was how the situation would arrange itself. In the past year since Sokka had moved back to Republic City he had been closer to Toph than anyone else. Toph had enjoyed having her best friend back especially with the newfound motherhood on her hands. Sokka had helped her through the hard first few months and she had helped him through everything else. Now that things were stabilizing though Katara was hoping they would stay status quo.

"I am glad your coming. It will be nice for you and Lin to get away from Republic City when's the last time you left?"

"Uh, I think the day before I moved here nine years ago."

They burst out laughing. Good old Toph could get Katara to laugh even after a devastating night of fighting with Aang. Few other people could do that.

Toph turned serious again, "I am glad we are going she deserves to be a little happy."

"She's happy Toph," Katara responded shocked.

"Not all the time I try to be a good mom, but sometimes I forget she's just a kid. I cart her around to the precinct and meetings and she is expected to be quiet and good and so she is. I just wish she didn't have to be sometimes. I wish she had a better mom."

Katara put her hand over her friends. Toph had tears in her eyes, but she wouldn't cry, not in front of anyone else. They were two moms in different difficult situations. Their hardships had brought them closer though.

For a short time after Lin was born Toph had come to stay with Katara and Aang on Air Temple Island. Katar had helped her through the early stages of motherhood and their relationship had grown nearly as close as Toph and Sokka's.

"It isn't easy. You do the best you can," Katara assured her.

"I know I just wish things were different and Lin had a bit more normalcy in her life."

"Really? That's interesting we were the exact opposite of normal when we were kids. You know saving the world and all."

"Yeah I know, but there isn't a war anymore. Things should be easier, but they seem to have gotten harder. The war was easy next to running a police force and being a mom.

"Yeah I know what you mean."

* * *

Katara and Aang were visiting the Fire Nation during the middle of her pregnancy and Katara was regretting it for many reasons. As soon as Aang and Zuko had been in the same room things had gotten awkward. They both knew of course, Katara was an awful liar and Aang had known instantly anyways so she had told him early on. Now she just hoped the knowledge wouldn't destroy an old friendship and the lives they had built for themselves so carefully.

She also felt the heated stare of Fire Lady Mai upon her most of the time. The jealousy that seeped through that stare seemed to burn burn her skin. She couldn't seem to escape the heat and uncomfortableness of the place in general. The only respite she seemed to get was at night when the palace was asleep and she could breathe in the cooler air whilst she waited for him to find her in the gardens

"The moonlight always always seemed to suit you best," he spoke standing a few feet behind her.

She smiled liking the way he spoke differently when just with her. She knew he would look for her here. The gardens that had replaced the scene of his Agni Kai with Azula had become their spot.

"It's the coolness of night here that suits me. The days are insufferable. Much is my life lately," she responded, not maliciously only truthfully.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be," she spoke turning to face him. "It has always been like this. For the both of us. It just seems to be more uncomfortable as of late, for more than one reason."

They both looked at her stomach and smiled. The child caused unease while unborn but Katara was looking forward to being a mother.

"I wish things weren't so hard for you. I can't help feeling like a horrible person for creating a rift between you and Aang."

She snorted, "It was there long before my getting pregnant. Don't worry about it he isn't being unpleasant he knew it could happen. I think he is more disappointed it wasn't him first."

"So there is a chance for him?"

"As much as there was for you."

That silenced him for a moment and he stepped closer to her, embracing her and smoothing her hair down in a comforting way. He did this for her. He made her feel safe and unjudged in his presence. Even in their situation being in love but married to other people he made her feel ashamed at being with him.

"I am sorry I couldn't have been there when you found out."

"It's okay, but I wish you could have too.

He stood back a little separating their bodies from one another but moving his hands from her hair down to her stomach.

"When you wrote me I couldn't believe it at first. I thought I would never have a child of my own, especially one with you. It seemed wrong-seems wrong, but I'm happy. Are you happy Katara?"

"Of course I am, Zuko"

* * *

Toph was in the small circle of people who were privy to Katara's secret. They seldom talked about it but Katara was feeling the need to bring it up.

"He hasn't written me since Tenzin's birth."

"Wow I thought he would have gotten over it faster. Are you two going to make for an even more awkward vacation?" Toph asked a bit more lightly.

"No he would never. You know him"

"Hphm," she did. "You two will work it out, you always have neither you or Sparky are good at being mad at each other.

"I know I just think that this time is different."

"How he had a kid and you forgave him"

"Her name is Izumi and that was different he needed an heir."

"He already had one. I still think you two could have gotten divorced and gotten together after Bumi. But, that's beside the point now. Your situations are the same only you didn't need a kid as much as Aang did. You know it and that's why you agreed last year."

That hit Katara hard in the chest. Toph was making it seem like things were less complicated as usual and it made Katara long for the lost possibilities. It also hurt that her situation was so close to Zuko's and that he seemed less forgiving than she was.

"Things have always been more complicated than you seem to think Toph."

"Yeah..sure."

Katara went silent and looked down at Tenzin. He was of course not to blame for any part of her current state, but she couldn't help resenting him a bit. She felt guilty for it of course, she just couldn't seem to stop herself though. He would come to be the reminder in her life of the betrayal she felt she had done to the man she loved.

"Speaking of complicated how is tomorrow's arrival going to be?" Toph asked not at all innocently as she probably already knew what tomorrow had in store for Katara's emotional state.

"I don't even want to think about it."

"Oh but it's happening sugar queen. Sparky and his family are arriving right on your doorstep and you'll have to face it soon enough. Might as well think about it while you have time to think about what you'll say."

"It won't be any different than usual probably. Aang will welcome them and I'll do the same. We have been doing it for years shouldn't be too difficult."

"Only this time you'll have another kid on your hip and it won't be his."

Katara bit her lip. Of course things would be awkward, but they had navigated this path before when Izumi had been born. She could still remember that look Mai had given her loathing but speckled with a bit of triumph like she had finally beat Katara somehow. Katara had taken it in stride and held onto her son as an anchor the whole time. That was the way she and Mai interacted. Mai acted the scorned wife and Katara held her silence not wanting to remind Mai she had knowingly gone into the marriage knowing Zuko loved Katara far more than he might ever love his wife.

"Like you said he'll get over it eventually, maybe," she hesitated. "Anyways, I made a choice and even though I feel bad about it I can't take it back."

"Well good luck."

"Thanks"


	5. Chapter 5: Thank You

Chapter Five

I know the last chapter wasn't the best but I really needed for the information bulk to be presented before chapter 6. Let me know what you liked and what you didn't. As always reviews are appreciated.

This chapter will be a lot better. Again it is a flashback to right after the Agni Kai.

* * *

How could she have been so stupid. The whole time they had been waiting he had been in pain and she hadn't noticed. For Agni sake she was a healer. Worse yet the sages had told her that the healing she had tried had released the residual energy from the lightning strike into the rest of his body and that is probably why he collapsed.

Luckily he was her top priority now. The others had come back safe and were now resting in adjacent rooms. Aang took away Ozai's bending and successfully handed him over to the White Lotus. Right now they were trying to find a suitable place to keep both he and Azula where no one loyal to their cause could possibly help them escape.

Overall things were chaotic. Both in general and in Katara's mind. She worried about Zuko and the damage she never meant to cause. She tried to lessen her guilt by applying her hands to the burn site and try to heal the internal damage, the medical sages had said it was safe now that they had dispersed the rest of the lightning's harmful energy. She went back and forth healing and standing over him looking for signs of consciousness. His face carried no sign of awareness. It was tight in pain or was it contemplation. Her gaze drifted to the scar on his face. She knew that new injuries sustained could sometimes spark pain in past hurts. She reached her hand to the rough skin absentmindedly, but recoiled when she realized he probably wouldn't approve of her touching it, especially without his knowledge.

The uncompleted action made her remember a past action, that moment in Ba Sing Se when he had allowed her to touch his scared face. The memory spurred her to think about the past few weeks. She and Zuko had finally resolved their issues and become friends. She trusted him now, perhaps more than anyone else. He had been there for her in so many unexpected ways. First with her mission to find the man who had killed her mother then with smaller actions. He believed in her abilities and had supported her through the moments when she had doubted herself. She had realized these things perhaps unconsciously, but now she took the time to appreciate them.

She sat down in the chair next to his bed and took his hand in hers.

"Hmm," his lips mumbled as he stirred under her hands.

"Zuko?"

"Mhmm...Katara." he spoke drowsily. "What...Where are we?"

"Your room."

"Why are you in my room?"

"You collapsed I was making sure you were okay. Do you remember anything before that?"

He thought for a second sitting up before he winced in pain. He looked down and saw the new burn pattern on his abdomen. He reached up to his scared face and grumbled.

"Yeah I do. Wait! They're back! What happened?"

"It's okay. They're okay. We won," she smiled reassuringly.

"My father… did Aang?"

"No. Aang found another way. He's alive, he doesn't have his bending anymore, but he's alive."

He smiled and then laughed. She laughed back and they were laughing together happy, safe, together. She reached out and hugged him. It apparently surprised him because he stopped laughing, but he returned the hug. She felt happy, but also felt like crying. Everything just felt overwhelming.

"We're okay" he said stroking down her wild hair, soothing her.

Suddenly, the doors to his room burst open and there were four inquiring faces in the doorway.

"Has Sparky gone mad. We heard laughing," Toph came sauntering in and sat herself down on the end of Zuko's bed.

Aang, Sokka, and Suki filed in behind her and came to surround the bed looking hopefully at Zuko.

"I'm fine just a bit banged up." He waved it off nonchalantly.

"Dude that's a bit of an understatement. Katara told us what happened," Sokka spoke in an animated but concerned voice. He eyed Zuko suspiciously as if he expected him to faint and die in front of everybody.

"What did she say?" he asked innocently as if he had done nothing remarkable at all.

"You dove in front of lightning, dummy," Toph scolded lightly. "You saved Katara's life, but almost killed both of you in the process."

"Oh that," he said sheepishly.

"Yeah that," Toph replied sarcastically throwing her hands in the air.

"It was brave," Katara defended. "He saved my life. Azula would have killed me. It's a miracle he was able to deflect most of the impact."

Her breathe caught in her chest as she grasped the full reality of the situation. Zuko had almost died saving her. She looked at his abdomen no doubt it would scar just like his face had. She felt like crying, but settled for clutching his hand in hers and looking down at the floor at her shoes.

"It was brave," Aang spoke firmly. "Zuko did what he had to."

Everyone looked ashamedly away from Zuko. They had all come close to dying and had all been willing to if necessary, but no one had come as close as Zuko. Zuko just squeezed Katara's hand acknowledging that it was okay, he was alive and so was she.

"How about we leave him to rest now," Suki suggested.

"Yeah we'll all need the energy for tomorrow's coronation," Aang added.

Everyone looked surprised and then realized what he was talking about. Katara belatedly realized that this peace wouldn't last, there were things to do. Stability had to be restored to all nations and it was all of their responsibility. Tonight might be their only chance to feel untouched by the change before it happened.

"Yeah let's get some sleep," Sokka said moving everyone toward the door. "Katara?"

He looked back at her still beside Zuko's bed still staring at her shoes a bit unsure of what to do.

"I'll be there in a bit. Just let me finish do what I can for Zuko here."

Sokka exited without another word and left Katara and Zuko alone. Katara then got up and began pulling water out of her water skin to heal Zuko.

He reached out unexpectedly and stopped her before she could press her hands to his abdomen.

"I don't think it will help. It doesn't seem to have changed since it first happened and it doesn't feel much different," he said solemnly.

"Let me try."

He let go of her arm and sat back letting her finish her ministrations.

"Anything?"she asked hopefully.

"No. Sorry Katara, lightning strikes don't ever heal there's nothing you can do."

"It's me who should be sorry," she whispered tears starting to stream down her cheeks.

"No never be sorry. I wouldn't have it any other way," he spoke softly brushing tears from her eyes.

"Go get some sleep Katara. Thanks for trying anyways."

With that she placed a bandage around him with his help and packed up her things. When she made it to the door she turned back and looked at him.

"It's I who should be thanking you," she said as she closed the door just loud enough for him to hear.


End file.
